Monday
Feb152010
the hardest thing
Monday, February 15, 2010 at 10:10AM 
The whole problem with people is … they know what matters, but they don’t choose it … The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters. — Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees
Reader Comments (9)
Cheers!
I've seen my own daughter have panic attacks over new situations even if she knows she will enjoy them, simply because she doesn't know what to expect from them. I've taken to surprising her with these situations. I actually sprang her first interview on her with the library. I knew they wanted her to work there, and that she would love to work there, so I just waited until we were leaving for the library to tell her they wanted to interview her. :o) The less time she has to think about the situation, the better.
Peace and Laughter!
i do think that when we see our time with our kids as a deliberate, thoughtful choice, we can appreciate and enjoy it more.
kim, what a great point — kids do seem to always hone in on the authentic things!
cristina, lol re: ambushing your daughter. :)
interesting that you read “change” into the quote .. i read it and thought about that inner voice that seems to always be calling you in one direction, while you struggle with the demons of other people’s opinions, society’s beliefs, your own fears, etc.
it also made me think of this thoreau quote:
“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”
Within my own homeschooling society, I see people who choose this rougher path but still hold onto the accepted cultural norms. They want to homeschool, BUT they also want to be assured their child will be accepted in colleges (this coming from parents with children as young as four!). They clearly see all the problems within their public schools, BUT they want to be assured their child has a fulfilling social life. They want to unschool, BUT they fear their child will make poor choices and ruin their lives. It all comes down to deciding between the devil you know and the uncertainty of the future.
I'm sorry! I'm somewhat unconventional in my thinking! I do like your Thoreau quote. I can see examples of the fear of change in that as well. :o)
i see what you are saying about choice & change. and oh, i agree about the “devil you know”. parents are looking for a guarantee, as if there were such a thing, and they seem willing to settle for the guarantee that their child will at least be in the same position as the other children their age — no better, but no worse?
going back to what i was saying to jill, i think this *is* one of the crucial lessons we are teaching our children by example — choosing what matters, which is sometimes hard, which, as you say, often means swimming against the tide.
both the thoreau quote and this one make me envision someone narrowing in on what they want to do with their life … getting rid of the extraneous, choosing what matters.