keeping the cart behind the horse
Monday, September 21, 2009 at 12:21PM A question from Jess:
Your blog has answered lots of questions, but I definitely will have more … for example, my daughter absolutely loves rock collecting. Should I not mention the Museum of Natural History that has a rock collection?
If your goal is to have your child experience the entire arc of learning, from initial interest to knowing enough to teach someone else, they need adequate time to explore outward from that beginning point.
Your mind will leap ahead to great possibilities, like visiting the museum. Write them down in your journal. But keep them to yourself for now.
Imagine if your child was deeply engaged in making a house from a cardboard box, working intently. You come in the room and watch a moment, then say “You should do this for the stairs … you could use that magazine to cut out rugs and pictures … those spools would make good furniture …”
Depending on the child, and the day, your suggestions might be well received and inspire them further — or, you might kill their interest altogether. In any case, whose project is it?
As you build a strong, trusted learning relationship with your child, they need to know that you will support them and get them whatever they need but you won’t take over. They will remain in control.
Anything that you do for them takes away their opportunity to do it for themselves — including having ideas and making connections. Of course you are going to make those connections quickly; of course you are going to have wonderful ideas! Save them, and later, if they never come up in any other way, you can introduce them. But give your child the chance to make their way there on their own — possibly much more slowly, or via a circuitous path. Slow learning.
Another analogy — when your three-year-old is hunting for Easter eggs, you don’t want to point out each and every egg. They would hate that. On the other hand, if they are looking too hard and long and making no progress, becoming frustrated and upset in the process, a little hint or a bit of subtle redirection can get them back on the right path and happily working again. There’s a delicate balance to this, and it’s a learned skill. Try to always err on the side of doing less; you can always do more later.
Your goal here is for your child to work independently and have their own ideas. Of course, you could plan a fun unit study, but that’s not what we’re doing. We’re planning along, not planning ahead. We’re seeing what form our child’s work takes over an extended period of time, allowing it to take its own shape without imposing our preconceived ideas.
Rather than making direct suggestions about places you could visit, back it up a step or two or three and ask “What kinds of places might teach us more about rocks? Where could we go? Who could we talk to?” Write down every idea your child has and start following them up one by one. It’s entirely possible that along the way, she will stumble across the museum on her own or gather that suggestion from someone else, making it her discovery. The more they own their work, the more they will learn and the more pleasure and pride they will take in it.
Reader Comments (37)
Lesson learnt.
I just found this site a couple of months ago and my "visits" here feel like talking to a wise mentor. Thank you so much, Lori, for taking the time to share your thoughts! And thanks too to those of you who make comments!
because if you dump some huge chunks of wood on it, you’ll put it right out!
just don’t be afraid to try again. :^)
mamie, exactly. we want kids to become great at solving problems but we interfere before they can even create a problem to solve!
this touches on another of my pet concerns. we want kids to grow up to make good choices when they are teens and young adults .. yet we hardly ever let them make any choices at all. (especially at school.) when they start to make a “bad” choice (like deciding to attach two pieces of wood with a piece of scotch tape), we intervene and tell them it won’t work instead of letting them figure it out for themselves. if kids are going to become resilient and good at analyzing, if they are going to become thoughtful choice-makers, we need to let them develop those skills.
and thank you!
arwen, yes, i think it’s difficult for everyone — parents *and* teachers. of course, *we* are good learners. but in this relationship with our children/students, we want to be mentors — not lecturing them on how to do it, but creating circumstances for them to do it themselves, and supporting them along the way.
the journal really helps me in this way — i can express all my great ideas, without expressing them to the kids! ;^)
sarah, mmm, yes. like you could fall behind by slowing down. this is really such a different road that you can’t compare “progress” between the two radically different approaches. along the way i think you would have pointed to my boys and said, well, they are moving sooo slowly on this or that — yet at this point (turning 10 and 13), they are in many ways far ahead. and not just in school-measured things, but in the intangibles that school doesn’t even care about.
i’ve said before, but i’ll repeat ;^), that i like to look at two years rather than a single “school” year — it really helps to even things out. you can spend a lot more time digging deeply into one area knowing that when that interest has been fully explored and excavated, they will turn naturally to the next, new thing and do the same with it.
i’ve never worked on a project that didn’t eventually branch out to cover virtually every part of a normal curriculum (even if that‘s not a concern to me personally). and now that the boys are older, this way of approaching learning has really turned them into deep diggers who take their time — they know it takes time to find the gold.
thank you, amy, and i have more coming! if anyone else wants to e-mail me a question for me to address on the blog, please do! (to lori (at) campcreekpress [dot] com)
hi stacey. :^)
younger than three? i think the best thing is to begin to introduce this way of learning, with both environment and experiences. as a child transitions from two to three (and some a bit later), they will move from absorbing to sharing and from listening/reacting to initiating.
we’ve done months-long projects with three-year-olds. the aim is to try to stay with one idea (which will become a collection of ideas) longer .. to layer knowledge, activities, and experiences, field work, etc., to create something more complex.
slow learning again — to do this, you move very slowly. slowly read and accumulate books. slowly talk and collect questions. slowly locate and examine materials — then represent your learning in many different ways. drawings, paintings, stories both written down or dictated and stories acted out in dramatic play. and so on.
i wrote a little about this here -
http://www.whiteoakschool.com/camp-creek-blog/2008/10/9/getting-beyond-the-learning-moment.html
and here -
http://www.whiteoakschool.com/camp-creek-blog/2008/11/11/getting-beyond-the-surface-of-learning.html
for children younger than three, you can still stay with one idea a long time even though you will be doing more of the “work” — read a series of books on the same subject, talk about it when you are making art (2-D and 3-D), make sure you make or have open-ended materials so they can play with the ideas (e.g., blocks, dress-up clothes).
if you can put together a mixed-age group for some of these activities — even a one-time playdate with some older friends — that can be a wonderful thing for a younger child.
hope this helps!
sally, thank you! :^)
as if we have to know things before our children learn them!
as if teachers know everything children need to learn!
schools and teachers *define* what children *will* learn and even under those very prescribed circumstances they often don’t meet their own goal.
i don’t attempt to *teach* my children everything, just as you say — i create the circumstances in which they can teach themselves what they need or want to know.
i agree with you so much re: parents needing to find something to learn themselves, too. it always amazes me that some people think they can raise “great readers” when they themselves don’t read, or they want “passionate learners” when they themselves have no hobbies or intellectual interests. a classic case of “do what a say, not what i do”.
it’s hard for me to not get involved in the boys’ interests — because they just make them so darn interesting. :^) plus, i am their first, best audience for being told everything they learn! but after years of practice, i have learned to mostly control my impulse to stick my fingers in. :^)
Still, it sure helps to be reminded. My Teacher Lady side is one forceful cookie, and she needs a good shove back down on a regular basis! ;-) Next time she shows up, I'll try to relegate her to a journal. Thanks for the reminder!
What a great post! I linked to it in an email to the families in my early childhood program. Thanks!
one thing i suggest to struggling wanna-teach'ers is to choose something apart from their child’s interest/project — maybe one of their own passions — and teach *that*. so you can share your passion and knowledge for knitting, cooking, gardening, woodwork, civil war battlefields, … and still let your child own *his* work.
in the meantime, i just use my journal to plot out all the different directions i can foresee a project going … then let it go where it will. :^)
lol, kat — thank you for your enthusiasm! :^)
jess, thank you for your great question! i have another for later this week from another reader that touches on that “in the back of my head i worry about their education” problem.
and thank you re: the blog/book! :^)
thank you, lise! i’m glad you found it useful! :^)
BTW, we have cousins that just moved in next door temporarily; ages ranging from 12-5 and they are homeschoolers. I now have many hands working in my studio and learning right along side me. It's crazy but fun!
I'm glad you're back:)
there’s no doubt that we could “improve” their projects by jumping in; it simply defeats the purpose of doing projects in the first place. that’s what we have to keep reminding ourselves! :^)