projects and the intractable child
Sunday, October 28, 2007 at 11:18AM 
My ten-year-old has taken our lessons to heart. He is the architect of his own learning. He can learn about anything that interests him. We will provide him with whatever help he requests. (Emphasis on requests.)
If you have ever known a child who reacts to your suggesting a book by saying, automatically, without even thinking about it, "No thanks", you are familiar with this child.
If you have ever suggested to a child an activity that simply reeks of excitement and fun, only to be met with a casual, "Yeah, I don't think so, no thanks", you are familiar with this child.
Now that he is ten, things have improved. I can suggest a book without his immediately saying no. He is reading, and immensely enjoying, Kon-Tiki
Although he still has his doubts.
When he went through a stage of intense interest in Flickr, I pulled out a big pile of Time/Life Photography Series books that I bought years ago at a library sale.
He got very excited about a story about Joseph Pulitzer and how he was the first publisher to include sensationalistic photographs in his newspaper. (This was in the volume "Photojournalism" -- these books were published in 1971, btw.) He was talking a mile a minute and gesturing and laughing. Before he told me the story, however, he paused to say significantly, "I wasn't reading about how cameras work or anything. It wasn't about that." It was like he was saying, "I know why you gave me these books -- I'm onto you -- and I didn't do what you wanted."
The directions he took his interest in -- starting with Flickr -- were places I couldn't have predicted. We talked about art -- what is art, what's not. We talked about how pictures tell a story -- or don't accurately reflect the truth. We talked about geography and places we want to visit.
I eventually realized that to him, Flickr was a toy, and he was playing with it. He was looking it up and down and all around and figuring out what it could do. He was running around the room with it making zooming noises like it was an airplane, then he was walking it across the floor and laughing. He was turning it inside out. He was in discovery mode. He was in the zone -- the flow state -- calm, relaxed, completely plugged in, energetic, and focused.
Anything I did that made it seem like I was dictating what he should do would make him stop in his tracks. I had broken the spell.
Over time, I've become better at how I make my offers of assistance -- emphasizing it's only a suggestion, and he can take it or leave it as he wishes. And he has become better at considering my offers, not always rejecting them out of hand.
The biggest lesson has been mine. I realized that I can't predict where he is headed. It is entirely his own direction, plotted out according to his needs, his interests, his goals. And I don't want to get in the way of that, so I need to hang back and make sure I'm supporting him, but not tripping him up by trying to anticipate where he wants to go. He'll let me know where he wants to go.
Reader Comments (9)
actually, i can see myself in this child so much. (not just his father. ;^) i am a total control freak and hate being managed as well!
it *is* difficult to learn, and i still mess up all. the. time. i've learned that i shouldn't impose my ideas *at all*, but try to stick with questions. e.g.: how could we do that? where do you think we could go to find that information? etc.
(and having learned that, i still manage to forget!)
because we really are offering something we think they will like, that will be good for them, that will sustain them! we reach out .. and they shy away.
so, i suppose my method is to leave the food out, go inside, and peek through the window blinds!
pretty hilarious to read this today...
my girl came down all breathless and exhausted, showing me her new comic strip that she has made (the kids have been totally devouring Calvin & Hobbes, and Garfield) and they are pretty good..
so like a CRAZY WOMAN I start planning in my head how this could be her "project" for May, and her eyes jsut glaze over. "No thanks, MOM" she says, "I just did it for fun."
le sigh...
so after a few minutes I came over and looked at it again, I mean REALLY LOOKED. I talked about the characters, about how I could see their personalities in the facial expressions she drew, about the funny jokes she made them tell. I could see her shoulders relax, and she slowly relinquished her "battle stance." Then I started with the questions: do you need anything from me to help you?
"nope"
"would you like to get some more books from the library?"
"nope"
"what would you like to help things go better next time?"
her answer? "paper with squares on it already, and blotting paper to go under the page while I color it with my markers. They bleed alot."
I think she scents my desire to take over, and is reluctant to even ask me for materials, knowing my history of making her fun stuff into work.
le sigh again...
so, I will go get the requested materials, or show her how to make her own squares on the computer so she can print them out whenever she wants, and leave her alone...
Louise in Victoria, Australia.
what you need to do is spend some time documenting *what* the children are playing at — what are they building in the block area? what imaginary games are they playing in the classroom and outside?
look for a small group of two or three children who have an intense interest. it is *they* who will pull in the rest of the children; you won’t have to gently persuade!
look for a project topic that you believe will either have enough general interest to appeal to most of the children *or* enough spread to offer many different entry points. you don’t want anything overly specific or too esoteric.
as an example, we did a very successful project that began with three boys who were obsessed (in the best sense of the word) with a book in the preschool library about dolphins and whales. the project grew from there, and the children eventually studied fishing equipment, boats, all fish (ocean and lake) and sea mammals, water, diving equipment, and on and on. representations were numerous and included a whole stage full of models that the children would “swim” through while wearing the scuba equipment they had made!
the three boys at the beginning, once they were given special attention, exploded in their work. they shared it with their classmates — *this* is how you get a whole group involved.
we *never* required project work of our preschoolers; everything they did was self-motivated. if you have children share their work with each other in your class meetings, and if you support their different ideas, they will *want* to work on the project, to be a part of it.
play is a natural part of project work. of course, the children spent part of each day playing at non-project-related things, but they also played at their project — playing with their clay models on the rug, making block buildings to house them; playing pretend with the models and representations they had made (fishing, diving, traveling in their child-size boat they’d made, etc.); acting out skits related to things they’d learned. through play, they reinforced everything they learned, and they also uncovered questions they had (which is why it is important to document their play!).
rather than asking boys to submit to structured learning, you need to turn it around so that you are offering yourself up as a trusted resource to provide what they need — materials, space, permission to build, etc.
please feel free to come back with more questions, and please let me know how it goes!
i am also going to copy this question and my answer over to this weekend’s open thread. :^)
I am debating homeschooling her because I feel like she could learn so much more at home.
Your site is encouraging me to try it out. My daughter is almost 10 and in 4th grade. my other daughter is 8 and in 3rd grade.
tara